The Chase


"He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor in the Lord.
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If you believe in the words found in the Holy Bible why is it so hard to live by this scripture? Why do we, as women chase down men and then cry out of bewilderment wondering why they won't commit and/choose someone else? The answer is simple. We live according to our emotions, flesh and the world's standards instead of by scripture. The world tells us that it is alright for women to pursue men. It's often said that it is a sign that she is confident in who she is and what she wants. Well, I beg to differ.
I do believe that it is okay for a woman to express initial interest in a man and even ask for his phone number. Some guys are shy and to be completely honest, many women just seem unapproachable. What happens after the initial meeting is what determines the future path of the relationship if one is established. I'd like to take a moment to share a recent experience of mine that opened my eyes to the roles and expectations of men and women while dating or better yet, courting. I'm nowhere near perfect, yet I am transparent so please don't criticize me.

I was seeing this guy for a while. We had so much in common from our love of video games, anime and food. I just had it set in my mind and heart that he was the one. It wasn't until after we had an argument that I understood what I had done and was doing wrong. I would cook with him, wash his dishes, and help him clean his place. I did most of the initial calling and texting. I basically acted as though I were already his wife. We spend almost every day together and it was mainly because I'd invite myself over. Most of the time I would just show up, and he never expressed to me that it bothered him. He enjoyed our time together, however, it made it easy for him to not to have to pursue me. He didn't have to do any work. After the argument, I told him that I wouldn't just impose and invite myself over to his place. His response was something along the lines of, "That's good. You say you want to be pursued by someone but you don't even give me the opportunity to do so". I got a little upset inside because I felt like my efforts weren't appreciated, but once I sat back and stepped outside of my emotions I realized that he was absolutely right.

How often do you tell yourself and others that you want a man to pursue you? You want him to call and ask you out and prove to you that he is interested? Well, how is he supposed to do that if you take his role away from him? Believe it or not, men like to go after their woman. It gives them a sense of pride and accomplishment when they put in work and are able to snatch up the woman they desire. Again, the bible says "He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor in the Lord. Trust me, you will stress yourself out trying to do the opposite of what God says to do. When you chase a man you seem desperate, especially to a saved Christian man who knows that it is his job to pursue you. You will save yourself a lot of heartache and tears if you do things God's way. 

I learned that lesson the hard way. Rushing, and doing the pursuing put a strain on that friendship and it will probably never be anything more than it was. Let the guy do the calling and the asking. Let him seek you out. Don't be afraid that he won't call, text or commit. If he can't do whatever you require in order for him date you, then let him go. A man may not feel that you are worth the pursuit, but Christ thinks you are to die for. Ladies, WE are the prize and we are worth every bit of the work it takes for a guy to win our heart. 

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