"I Am Not Yet the Woman I Want to Be" by Desiree Adaway

“… rejoicing in my victories and vulnerability equally, for I know both are required for my growth and expansion.”


I am not yet the woman I want to be.
Not yet bold or bodacious enough. Not yet fully comfortable with my own power and not always secure in my search for it.
Yet I fully own my brilliance as I pray for wisdom.
I am not yet the woman I want to be.
Not sure if I am on the right path, making the right choices, but rejoicing in my victories and vulnerability equally, for I know both are required for my growth and expansion.
I am not yet the woman I want to be.
Not yet enough of a rebel or a change maker, yet I still stand strong, speaking my truth as my voice shakes and my heart beats wildly…. owning a voice that comes from deep within a body that is far from perfect. I am not yet the woman I want to be.
Giving life my all every chance I can, but somehow feeling like my all is not enough. Yet, fully embracing my sacrifices, bearing witness to struggle, and knowing that it will be ok. I am not yet the woman I want be.
Not always embracing love and pushing limits to expand my ability to love more deeply. Yet I have more opportunities than ever before in the history of our world, and still I yearn for more time and less judgement. I am not yet the woman I want to be.
Not all of my relationships are deep, meaningful or fulfilling. Yet every day I reach out to my neighbour and pray for their well-being. I am not yet the woman I want to be.
I struggle daily with a workable definition of success, balance and self-care. Yet every day I am a warrior, peacekeeper, healer, storyteller, community builder and dreamer.
I am not yet She … but I know that today I will do what others won’t, and I am quietly being nudged in the direction that will lead me to her.

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