Venting - Wherefore art thou Sister?

I've always wanted a big sister. I'm the oldest in my family and I'm SUPPOSED to be an example for my younger siblings. I'm supposed to be the BIG SISTER, but I don't know how. I never had someone to vent to or tell my secrets to. There was no one to show me how to put on lipstick. In fact, I wore lipstick for the first time TODAY. I never had someone to teach me what a relationship with a man was supposed to be like. I was never taught what being a Christian woman is supposed to be like. Sometimes, I feel so lonely. I don't have a social life. I have a couple associates that I don't see, but there is no one I trust completely. There is no one that I can call my sister. I get up each morning and go to work. I spend time with my boyfriend and kids. I can't complain about my life, but sometimes I wish there was more. I don't go to parties or clubs. I'd love to go on lunch dates and Christian concerts with someone I'd call my sister. I need someone to check me when my relationship with God is falling off. I need that support from someone who loves me enough to check me and tell me the truth and not sugar coat things for the sake of 'friendship'. I was supposed to be a part of Pinky Promise Detroit and while most of the ladies have beautiful souls I feel out of place. Everyone has their friends/crews inside the group and it doesn't make sense for me to try to squeeze in. I text some of them and I might get a response sometimes, but I decided to draw back. I want more than just 2 meetings a month. I want real friendship. I want a sister. This is something I pray for...genuine sisterhood. It's so frustrating to not have anyone to go to about my relationship, God, work or my kids. I don't have anyone that I can call up to go to the movies. I grew up a tomboy and it would be cool to have someone to shop for dresses and heels with. Maybe this is my season of solitude for spiritual growth. I know that God is sufficient but I don't believe that I'm supposed to live life without friendship...sigh...

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