Dream Much?



I was recently asked what my dreams and goals are. As a mother of 2 seeds and another who might as well be my seed, (oh how I love my babies) I find it hard to focus on what I want. After rent, my money goes to toddler shoes, cartoon character shirts, infant rompers and hair bows. That's not to say I never have money left over. I'd rather save it sometimes than spend it on me. My children's dad always tells me I should do more for myself. Yet, I am a strong provider. I love to see my babies with big smiles. They don't have the latest toys and the most expensive clothes but they have everything they need and are very happy. As a mom I always want to do more, ya know? How do I do that without neglecting myself?

I absolutely love my life as a full-time working mother, but some days I feel like something is missing. I'm a beautiful woman. I know that I don't need long weaves (which I love) or expensive clothes and shoes to validate me, but a little extra attention would be nice. When I go to the store for groceries, diapers or pull-ups I sometimes see fingernail polishes I want. I see cute outfits, shoes and purses that I could afford, but I pass them up. I don't even have a purse right now and could definitely use one. I figure that I spend all of my time at work and I have a work bag so why do I need a purse. I have a little wallet. It's torn. I should post a pic and maybe ya'll will convince me to buy another one lol.

Ok, I guess I'll get to the topic of my post. I used to have big dreams. My greatest aspiration was to become a best-selling novelist. I always love to write because I never had anyone I trust enough to spill my heart out to. I started writing my novel in 2008. An unfortunate even happened to where I lost my computer and my backup. I lost my novel along with everything else in my home. I was crushed. I didn't have the money to buy another computer. I started writing on notebook paper and using my phone. That became too frustrating,  so I stopped writing for a while. I'd pick it up every so often. I had already had my son when I lost everything so my life became consumed with loving on him. Writing was put on the back burner and has just about been there every since. I'd go back sometimes and add a sentence or two, but that's about it.

I Had dreams of no children before marriage. I wanted to travel the world with my husband and save money while I could so that when I was ready for a family we'd be set. Boy have those plans changed drastically! That's due to nothing except my disobedience to God. It's all good though because, I TRY not to wallow in my past sins and failures and as I stated before I love being a mom. I not the greatest when it comes to splitting up my time. I just have to figure out how to balance fulling my dreams while taking care of myself and my family. Any suggestions??

No comments

Post a Comment

Join in on the conversation!